There’s a fire in my belly. And oh, isn’t it a lovely fire? Passion. Humility. Love. Hope. These are just a few things that fuel this fire.

I went to see my transfer counselor at the community college today. The moment she printed out my unofficial college transcript, she started to get sarcastic on me… “Andrew… can’t you have any better grades than this?” I smiled and said with mischief… “no…”

The appointment was mainly to get me ready for the Medical Internship I will be participating in at the University Campus this summer (that is… if I get in). My counselor was very confident that the experience (service, and academic) will qualify me for the program and will mark me as a favorable applicant. But there was one time during the discussion that I knew that this counselor did not like me simply because I work hard, it was because of the “fire in my belly” as she described.

“From talking to you, I can tell that the things you are doing in class, and the things that you are doing as a volunteer really interest you. You are doing well in everything, and you are enjoying the experience. But look at the people who work to earn grades the same as yours, but are miserable because they feel like they are laboring through their classes for a goal that is not really their’s!”

Hearing her say this was something that really encouraged me. That was the kind of impact I wanted to have on people… that they will know that my authenticity is like a fire that will proudly blaze through everything it touches.

This also sparked a lot of uneasiness in my heart… that is… the fire in my belly engaged with my mind as I thought about my mission.

Thought #1: Recently, my aunt had a mass in her liver that they could not identify. She lived in Canada, and her doctor scheduled an MRI for the end of March. This appointment occurred in early January. This is what appeared to be the logical reasoning: “If the mass is a tumor, there is little we can do about it, so there is no point in scheduling the MRI so quickly. If the mass is not a risk, we will know it is not a risk when we take the MRI in March. Piece of cake” Um… NOT a piece of cake, when you’re a woman that has a family who cares about her and needs to know how to prepare to the future. My father is a great man, and since my aunt has a Taiwanese health care plan, Dad arranged for her to be checked out. An ultrasound and an MRI later, my aunt’s worries were gone. The mass was a cyst, harmless mass of blood that accumulated in the back right side of the liver. Wasn’t it better for my aunt to worry for one week than for her to worry for three months? Here’s a point to the healthcare reformers that want a privatized healthcare system. I really hope that if government-run healthcare is used in this nation, people will be smart in using this service. One faulty way of thinking is “If this stuff’s free, we can use it all we want!” Nah, that’s not the way it works. This “stuff” ain’t free, rich people are paying for it (heck, if I were rich, I’d be willing to pay up to 50% of my income in taxes… only on the condition that people will be smart with what their government offers them).

Thought #2: Did you know that a drug is simply an enzyme inhibitor? Our bodies are controlled and kept stable by tiny little guys that have different shapes. These little guys are called enzymes, they are cool, because they are made up of proteins. What makes them cooler is that they help us make things we need to survive by speeding up the process. Anything from pee to mucus, inflammation agents to regulatory chemicals for every function of the body. Take the example of a headache… The reason why we have pain is because enzymes are speeding up the process of the production of inflammation agents that end up causing our veins pressing against our nerves (uh, not sure if that’s accurate, but something like that happens)… Basically, a drug like aspirin will have a chemical that has the key to shut off that particular inflammation agent producing enzyme. Some people complain that when they eat aspirin they have stomach problems… No, it’s not because aspirin burns a hole in the tummy… it’s because that inflammation agent producing enzyme does two things, it makes inflammation agents, AND it makes chemicals that regulate stomach (or intestinal?) function… Oh my gosh!!! No wonder drugs have side effects. Some chemicals have shapes that end up attaching to the wrong enzyme… people sometimes die because of this and that makes me sad…

But it makes me so happy to know now, what drugs are, and why it is so good at helping people. Now, if we have the technology to investigate enzyme structures such that side effects would not happen, then this world would be a better place.

Thought #3: Lastly, when I learned the above thought from my biology professor, he talked about how the enzyme protease (no, it’s not pro-tease… it’s pro tee ase… hahaha) can be inhibited to help stop the progression of HIV and prevent AIDS. I remember talking to my counselor and reflecting upon the emphasis of community service… She told me about the strong community service emphasis at UCSF’s medical school, where, in San Francisco, there is a high HIV+ population. Hearing my teacher talk about how we have the power, through drugs (I mean, enzyme inhibitors), to take people off the track to death and give them live, I wanted to cry. This is the redemption so many people need to jump start their faith and reinvigorate their spirits… basically, light a fire in their bellies. And I want to take part in the redemptive nature of medicine… that it continues to give second chances because we know more about what we are.

Saint Peter said that love covers a multitude of sins… We are called by Christ to love one another. Let’s make this world a different place before it dies.

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